Thanks to my young brothers-in-law, I have an appreciation for Chuck Norris jokes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Chuck Norris fan. I've never seen one of his movies, and judging by the jokes, I probably don't want to. But these jokes are funny. Here are a few of my favorites:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
18 comments:
"Spiderman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas" was my favorite. Ha ha!
That was great! I didn't even know there were so many Chuck Norris jokes. Is that guy retired yet?
Blake and I had a good laugh! Thanks....also, I think Blake is jealous of Travis' shirt.
Daniel would be in good company with your b-i-ls. He wanted to name James Chuck Norris Jackson. I just dont get it.
That was awesome! I've heard a few Chuck Norris jokes, but not that many. I got to have Ian read this post. He would love it. He tells me chuck Norris jokes all the time, but I forget them.
Every country Chuck Norris visits violates the UN for having a new weapon of Mass Destruction.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything to get a Klondike Bar!
Chuck Norris CAN smash an egg with his hand.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it too.
When you stare at the sun - you are in danger of losing your vision. When the sun stares at Chuck Norris it is in danger of losing its light.
The world was in fact flat... that is until Chuck Norris needed a short cut home.
Chuck Norris can drink a gallon of milk in 30 minutes and follow it up with a 16oz steak
Chuck Norris has had one surprise birthday party... that did not turn out so well.
Chuck Norris is the solution to global warming... the average car gets 200 miles per one Chuck Norris Spit in its gas tank!
Why do peopel drive on the left side of the road in England? Because Chuck Norris told them to!
Last one - Chuck Norris held a contest, the winner received a 5 minute lesson on fighting. And the winner was... Rambo.
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