I can't believe I get to say this, but my mom has been reunited with her other long-lost brother. Can you believe that??
As you might recall, she has three brothers, but for various reasons she hasn't seen any of them since she was in her twenties. The oldest died in the Korean War, Michael was given up for adoption when he was a baby (if you missed the story, you can read about it here), and then there's Freddie. Without going into all the details, suffice it to say that when mom was in her 20's there was an unexpected, painful rift between Freddie and the family. No one's heard from him in over 46 years, and no one ever expected to again.
Well last week, out of nowhere, my mother decided to Google Freddie's name. That led her to a genealogy site where she found posts he's written... looking for her. He's been looking for her for 45 years! Strangely, he didn't remember Michael (even though he was older than my mom when Michael was born), but he saw Michael's name in the genealogy database and was looking for him too. (Lemme tell you, that thrilled Uncle Mike to no end!) :)
Uncle Freddie has been living in Niagara Falls, NY (of all places) with his wife of 36 years, Moira. Freddie says she's the best thing that ever happened to him - his angel - and we all agree. They have no children and she's an only child, so they've both felt a bit of the family void. Freddie's felt it intensely. All these years he's had no pictures of his mother, his siblings, or even of himself when he was younger. He found out his mother passed away when he saw it on the genealogy website and he was just devastated. Honestly, it breaks my heart to think about it.
When he realized he finally found his sister, when he picked up the phone to call her, he was shaking like a leaf. He was worried she'd still be mad at him, but when she answered "Helllooooo" in that sisterly way he remembered, he knew it was okay. My mother said it was like they never skipped a beat.
When my mother told me where he lived, my first thought was "Man, we'll never see him." But as it turned out, he and Aunt Moira happened to have a trip to Las Vegas already planned and booked, for this week. The plan was to fly in Tuesday and drive down Wednesday.
One week. That's all we had to wait to see him again. Oh man.
Originally they were going to stay one night, drive back up Thursday, and then fly home Saturday as planned. Then he was going to fly back here and spend some time. I was not surprised that plans quickly changed so they could stay here basically for the duration of their "Las Vegas" trip, drive back up Saturday so Aunt Moira could fly home while Freddie stayed on for awhile. (Uncle Freddie robbed the cradle, so she's a young chick who has to work on Monday and isn't retired yet like he is.) ;)
This is how that week went: mom and Uncle Freddie talked on the phone at least twice a day, she sometimes would call him before he went to bed to say goodnight so he could sleep, he couldn't sleep anyway, Uncle Freddie and Uncle Michael talked several times, mom talked to Aunt Moira (who by this time was used to seeing Uncle Freddie on the phone to AZ), I got to talk to Uncle Freddie too (but only for a few minutes because man alive did mom ever want her phone back!), Freddie told pretty much everyone in Niagara Falls that he finally found his sister, and he lost fifteen pounds because his stomach was in such knots he could hardly eat.
When the day finally arrived, I went to mom's to wait with her. (Uncle Michael couldn't be there because he'd just had yet another surgery on his knee, and since it was the middle of the week my sister would have to wait until Friday to see them.) Uncle Freddie kept us apprised of his progress, and when we knew he was close we went outside to wait:
That says it all, doesn't it?
I gave Aunt Moira a hug first, and then she and I waited:
While Mom and Uncle Freddie kept right on hugging:
It still brings tears to my eyes.
We finally went in and introduced the kids.
Aunt Moira and I took a picture together.
I discovered Aunt Moira has good taste in shoes (not to mention pretty feet).
Mom and Freddie hugged.
We went outside to help them bring in their luggage. Like an idiot, I left my camera inside and missed Aunt Moira giving my mom these beautiful flowers.
Aunt Moira said they're for her new sister. Oh man, an angel is right.
We took some more pictures.
New sisters.
Mom and Freddie hugged.
Mom showed them the pictures throughout her house.
(Here he's getting a close look at Grandma holding her first grandson, many years ago. This was when Freddie told the story about going on the internet and finding out she had passed.)
Looking at pictures of the reunion with Uncle Michael.
(Big brother Gene. He's always been way up on a pedestal in our family, and it brought me a lot of satisfaction to hear Freddie describe Gene as the "brother of all brothers." It wasn't just little sister who idolized him... everyone did.)
After pictures... Mom and Freddie hugged.
And this was when it hit me.
All this time I was so certain I knew how this reunion would be, because heck man we'd been down this road before. We're old hats at this! I knew the reality of it wouldn't hit me till he was there in the flesh, just like with Uncle Michael. I knew there'd be the 20-minute hug at the beginning. I knew we'd look at all the pictures. I thought I knew it all.
But that's where the similarities ended. When Mom leaned on Uncle Freddie like this and he said "Boy, does this bring back memories," and she said, "Oh yeah, I used to lean on him all the time." I thought, "I don't know anything about their relationship at all!"
I was about to find out.
Turns out, my mom and her brother were very close. Like, best friend close. They were like that growing up, and when mom was 18(ish) they moved into an apartment in Portland which they shared for four years. They hung out together all the time.
I had no idea.
As I watched these two swapping stories (oh man, the stories! - there'll be more on that later), I swear I saw 20 years drain from their faces. You could see how close they were - and still are. It was a revelation to me.
At one point Uncle Freddie was talking, and I just sat there watching his face, wondering what my life would've been like if he'd been around.
(Hilarious, for one, in case you want to know. He truly cracks me up.)
But I felt the loss of my uncle. I felt the loss of my aunt, the Amazing But Completely Unassuming Moira. If I was feeling that loss, what must Mom and Freddie have felt? It felt like such a senseless waste to me. (I really wasn't prepared for how this was going to make me feel. That night I think Uncle Freddie got his first good night's sleep in weeks, but I woke up at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep for a couple of hours because I just kept thinking about it all.)
Later in the evening, I had the chance to talk to him more about how all this has felt to him, along with some other things in our family history. I love how open he is about his feelings. I really do. I love that I could talk to him about how all this feels from the get go. He's a warm, open person and I love him already.
It's been an amazing time.
We spent lots of time Wednesday and Thursday visiting.
Uncle Freddie collects lots of things (too many things, Aunt Moira would say), and one of the things he collects is Mickey Mouse stuff. This is Mom giving him her Mickey Mouse hat. Freddie brought pictures of his collection all displayed in their basement. The other two themes are cars - oh boy, does Freddie like cars - and Marilyn Monroe. There's more than that though.Friday, we gathered at IHOP so Uncle Freddie and Aunt Moira could meet my sister Wendy and her family.
Thursday, Uncle Freddie suggested I needed some sort of theme to replace the feet. Oh no, no, no. The feet are here to stay.
Uncle Freddie, Mom, and Ben
Besides, if it weren't for the feet trend on my blog, I promise you I'd never get my sister to do this:
Ah, my foot collection is complete. ;)
Right now Aunt Moira is back in Niagara Falls (or possibly still on her way - it's a looooong flight!) and Uncle Freddie and Mom are staying the night in Vegas. Tomorrow, they're driving to San Diego to spend time with Uncle Michael. How I wish I could be there for that reunion!!! I told them (repeatedly) to take lots and lots of pictures.
When they get back, we'll still have about a week before Uncle Freddie goes back home. I don't know when we'll see him next, but I have a feeling it won't be long. Which is a good thing, because I have lots of time to make up for with my aunt and uncle.
Meanwhile, I'm so happy my mom has her brother back, and that he has her.
