Blogs are curious things.
My blog shows one little slice of my life. It's a very true slice, but if it's all you know about me, it gives a very skewed picture. Reading back over my entries, there's only a tiny hint of what this year has been for me. To be brief (and blunt) October through March was pure hell. March to now hasn't been as horrible, but it's still been extremely difficult. Truth be told, this is turning out to be a pivotal time in my life. There's been only one other time, eleven years ago, that changed me as deeply as this year has.
Most of the things I've been dealing with (and there have been several) are of the sort that I'm not going to talk about them on a blog. Or even with most of the people I know. Some people know one or two things, but very few know the whole story. And that's fine by me. I'm not saying any of this to whine or get sympathy.
My point is, sometimes I feel like these blog posts are a lie. The Carolina's one is a good example (and why I felt I had to write this post). Everything in the Carolina's post was true and we did enjoy ourselves. But what I didn't say was that the situation that prompted us to go was pretty serious, and that taking pictures for the blog was a grateful distraction from the somber events we were there to discuss. And truthfully, it was no where near the most stressful thing I've dealt with - I'm not trying to make it sound like it was life-changing or anything.
Still, I have zero desire to talk about any of those things here, but omitting all that makes the afternoon sound like a playful romp and nothing more. It makes me feel dishonest.
A good friend of mine made a comment to me about the discrepancy between this blog and my actual life. She's right. I've thought about this before. I'm not trying to be deceitful or paint a false picture. I'm just keeping private things private and leaving the rest. I know I'm not alone in this. But I feel funny about it sometimes. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
Edit: Just to clarify, my friend was not saying that in a negative way at all. It was just an observation - she was by no means the source of my guilt. I did that all on my own. ;)