Idaho Fun

I have one other Picassa album I've created since we've moved here, and since it's soooo easy to create a post from the album I'm going to cheat and do it again.

We love Boise. Even though it's the capital city, it's a pretty small town compared to the sprawling, concrete Valley of the Sun. The Boise River runs right through the center of town, and it's lined with all these different parks and biking paths. The Greenbelt is just beautiful, and in many areas you can be on the river bank and not see or hear the city around you. It's like being in the middle of nowhere. And it's a 10 minute drive from our house. Course, I could drive to the other side of Boise and back and not really feel like I've exerted myself much.

The city is ringed on one side by the Boise mountains, on the top of which is Bogus Basin, the popular, local ski retreat. I haven't been skiing. I probably won't go skiing. But I still enjoy the drive to the top of the mountain. Just 30 minutes from downtown Boise and you're on the top of the mountain, surrounded by pines and gorgeous views. It's a fun place to walk around and explore all year long.

We love to explore and take the kids out and about. The air is fresh, the sights are rejuvenating, and the family time is priceless.

Picasa loaded these a little mixed up, but I'm not going to take the time to fix it. .... More updates later...

Wedding and Honeymoon

Well, even though the updates on this blog will just be about the boys, I had to include this in my updates too.

And just in general about the updates, I think I'll just write a little introduction at the beginning of these posts and follow up with pictures. It's too time-consuming to try to weave it all together and I'll never get this done if I try.

Anyway, the wedding was beautiful. We had an outdoor ceremony with immediate family. The weather was perfect. I have such wonderful memories of our ceremony.

We held the dance... I mean, reception... at a nearby church. We shook a few hands and I recall cutting some cake, but mostly we danced our favorite dances to our favorite songs and had an absolute blast.

So many friends helped us in so many ways, and I'm so grateful for all they did. It was a beautiful day. Kevin and I were delighted with the way everything turned out.

For our honeymoon we spent a week in Sedona, while my mom took care of the boys back home.

Speaking of the boys, it was an emotional time for them obviously. We talked a lot about it later and they told me how weird it was to see their mom get married. They told my mother, "She should've gotten married before she had kids." My mom's reply, "She did."

But they did pretty good. John did a good job giving me away. The boys left about half way through the reception, but Ben and Chris ended up coming back near the end to give me one last hug and dance with me. :)

It was wonderful to have the girls down for the wedding too. I so enjoy them and have loved it every time they spend the weekend with us here in Boise. But more on that later.

Anyway, without further yakking from me, here's a few pictures from the wedding, reception, and honeymoon:

If you want to see more pics, including more pics of the boys, here's the slideshow to a Picasa album I created a while ago...

More updates to come...

Ahoy Mateys!

We had so much fun dressing up for Halloween this year. Not to mention visiting the giant pirate ship Kevin's neighbor built in his front yard.

A Few Random Things

Parrots hanging out in our front yard:

John receiving two rank advancements in scouts. He's now working on his Star rank. Thank goodness for excellent scout leaders who've helped him get this done!

John had some tooth work done and came home with a pretty swollen cheek. He had some fun with this. Video will be forthcoming.

John's Aaronic Priesthood Ordination

The day after Brian's funeral, John was ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood. What was nice about that was all the family was still in town, so that Bishop's office was packed full of family surrounding John for that special moment. It was so nice to have all his uncles there to stand in the circle and set a good example for him.

We took some family pictures afterwards:

I love Christopher's goofy faces.

How the Boys are Doing

Well, it's been over two months since Brian passed away. Things are still fresh for the sons he left behind, although things are improving. The last couple of weeks have felt a little better and I'm seeing more normal days for the kids. For quite awhile there, just about every day was a struggle. School is still challenging for my boys some days. It can feel like too much for them at times. But we perservere and do the best we can. I'm proud of the way they're handling things. It's hard to watch them hurt so much though.

The boys are in counseling now. I've looked into grief groups for kids and there's a great one here in the Valley, but because of the way they do orientations we won't be able to take advantage of it before we move. I'll find them something in Boise.

Shortly after Brian passed away, a friend gave us a copy of the book Tear Soup.

It's a magnificent illustrated children's book about the grieving process, which my boys have read again and again. I highly recommend it for grieving children of any age. If you want to see the review I wrote about this book for Summit Series for Families, go here. I share a personal experience we've had with this book on my America Jane site. You can read about the boys' favorite part of Tear Soup here.

I also purchased three Angelcatcher books, which are journals/memory books for the kids to make to help remember their dad.

It has pages for filling in memories, the lost loved one's favorite things, wishes, feelings, etc. I wasn't sure if the kids would like that or not, but they do and John says it helps.

Because there's not a lot of room for photos in the Angelcatcher book, I also bought them little photo albums for pictures of their dad. We just barely got those and haven't yet begun the process of sorting through photos. If anyone has pictures of Brian and/or Brian and the boys they want to share, please let me know.

The change in my children's lives and the magnitude of their loss will manifest itself at random times and in sometimes unexpected ways. When we were making haunted cookie houses for Halloween, John made this:

It says: "RIP for Dad"

Little acts like this seem to help the boys. They do what they can to remember him.


On November 1, John learned about the Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos) in school. This is when you make a little memorial for the person who died, with their favorite foods and flowers. Then there's traditional elements like salt and candles. It's meant to be a celebration, and not a sad thing.

John decided he wanted to do this for his dad and he was really excited about it. So we scraped our plans for the evening (including homework) and went to the store to gather all Brian's favorite items. We cleared off the top of the entertainment center and assembled a feast. We had dinner in celebration of Brian: brauts, hot dogs, chips, shrimp. Mmmm.

So, that's where we are. The holidays are coming and we talk together about how to make them easier. John actually came up with a great idea for Halloween. For the first time we decorated the car for Trunk or Treat. The kids had a great time with that. Actually, that entire weekend was a lot of fun, although trick or treating was hard for John because he was missing his dad. But overall it was a good holiday, in large part because of John's idea. We'll see what we can come up with for future holidays.

It's hard to know what to do for my boys sometimes. When Brian and I divorced, I felt like I knew what to do to guide my kids through that trial, because I'd been through it myself as a child. I knew how they felt. I could relate.

This is different. I really have no idea what they're going through, other than what I'm reading or have been told. I don't know how it feels for them. That makes it difficult for me as a mother. But I trust that the Lord is mindful of them, and me, and that we'll get through this day by day, week by week, year by year.

It takes a very long time to heal from something like this, but I have hope that they will. For all of you who have given so much love and support to the boys (and myself) over the past two months, thank you so much.